I went bathing suit shopping last week.
I took my kids.
And, I actually bought a bathing suit.
Yes, I would like a medal, thank you for asking.
As a matter of fact, I have even compiled a list of pros and cons to help you decide if you are considering taking your kids along on a bathing suit shopping expedition such as mine.
Pros:
- loyal fans: I got plenty of smiles, applause, and “Ooooh, that looks SO cute on you, Mom!”
- larger change room
- no expectation that you will wrangle the rejected suits back onto their hangers before leaving
- decisiveness – no patience here for lollygagging and re-trying the “possibles”
Cons:
- awkward full-volume moments: “Mom, you are only in your underwear!” (at least they know I follow the undergarment rules)
- more awkward full-volume moments: “Mom, I can see your nipples!” (at least she has finally got those and armpits sorted out…made for some interesting conversations: “Tickle my nipples, tickle my nipples!” “No, Gemma, NO, those are ARMPITS!”)
- perpetual risk of skimpy curtain “door” being whisked open at a compromising moment
Have you ever tried this? Do the pros outweigh the cons, or vice versa?
I know one should never go bathing suit shopping in the midst of snow, when the past days have been full of nothing but thick, warming, comfort food. Snow outside makes me do crazy things inside, like not drain the fat after cooking bacon, not stop at one kind of cheese on my evening nachos, not do anything requiring slipper and housecoat removal…which is to say, it’s a good thing for my figure that I don’t live in Ottawa anymore, where snow was a 4 month affair. In Vancouver, snow for a week is a rarity.
So you might wonder how it happened that this one week of snow managed to coincide with bathing suit shopping, something I do less than once every three years.
It’s a bit of a long story, suffice to say we had to be out of the house while Carl worked, and I had already signed Gemma up for swimming lessons starting next week, and, since I think my 18-month-old is beyond the age of sitting happily in his stroller for 45 minutes while his sister swims, this all required my entry into the pool with him.
My goal was to purchase my first one piece bathing suit, and if this trip taught be anything besides the fact that your embarassment threshold gets a LOT higher when you have children, it is that one piece suits are not for everyone.
I feel, with two kids, like maybe I’ve reached a point where bikinis need to be forgotten. My current bikini, in particular, is far too easy for flailing little hands to adjust in ways adjustment should not be made, with skimpy tied bows at all the crucial closure points. Going into a public pool during preschool swimming lessons, I would feel more than a little exhibitionist in my ruffled little bright coral number.
However, after much trying I could not make the one piece work. I’m the kinda gal that carries the extra baking weight in the bum and thighs, and, in a one piece, that’s kind of all you see. Maybe if I had some distractions working for me up top it would help, but the girls are decidedly not distracting. So, that leaves my thinnest part at my waist. I tried tankinis and that was almost worse – now I was in a one piece with a slash across the middle.
What do you know, I ending up leaving shamefacedly with a bikini, apologizing to the clerk that I was purchasing it despite the two children clamoring for attention by my side. She laughed it off, but I’m sure she agreed.
What do you think? Do bikinis ever become inappropriate? Maybe a better question…are they ever appropriate? Do I need to wear a tank top to the pool and save this for a sunny getaway? I’m all torn up.
I can just see Carl reacting like this when I show him the new “one piece” I convinced him I needed to buy:
That’s a cute bikini. After my first child I definitely couldn’t wear them due to all stretch marks around belly button. So, Lucky you! There are some cute alternatives though – divinita sole (?) has some really nice ones that are not grandma-ish (online) incase you or someone on here is looking for cute tankini’s/full suit :-)
I’ve never heard of them until now – they have some fantastic suits! I need to keep them in mind next time I’m suit shopping.
Loved it! Found you through your BlogHer feature on their facebook page. Great writing, had me laughing and nodding in agreement!
Thanks for coming by! Glad to know I’m not the only one with this experience :)
Hello you two! Thanks for checking out Home Is Where The Cookies Are, Anna. I am already in love with your blog! Kudos to you for creating such a fun place. I love the story about “hidden ponies” and I fell in love with your dad over the story! On the swimsuits and shopping, well, after 4 children, my stomach is WAY to wrinkled up for that, but I think if it’s a tasteful bikini, why not? I would if I could. . . .The shopping with small children? Last May I bought a formal gown in under 45 minutes with a 5 year old and a 13 month old crammed in the room with me. Lets just say, It wasn’t the world’s loveliest gown, but it did the trick!! You do what you can do!
Thanks so much for visiting, Sara! Our dad is a pretty special guy :) And yes, shopping with kids sure limits the indecisive way I used to shop!
You are so funny. I hate shopping for bathing suits. It’s just a bad day for everyone involved. Lol!
I love this article…I LOVE both One pieces and Bikinis:) Super cute choice Anna..When are you swimming lessons? I may see you there!
Thursdays at 3:15…we missed our very first one already today but should be there next week :) When are you there?
I love that cute lil bikini! Where did you get it from? I have similar problems with one pieces… yeeeks. And I firmly believe that mamas can wear bikinis as much as they like. :) You go, girl! :P
Oh the memories…Of course with 2 boys it is different. I always went to the Bay where they have good solid doors for the changing room and no store clerk with ‘bug’ me. I would often wear a skirt so I could just pop the bottom on and then tell my boys…turn your backs and no peaking…when i tried the top half…That was when they were 2 and 4. Now they are old enough to wait outside the changing room. I find the wall with the 3 part mirrors and tell them to make faces at the boys in the mirror and that I’ll be quick. :-)
I have to wear a bikini, I’m so tall that bathing suits don’t fit right, either my boobs fall out or hiles in the front and back and I don’t want to tell you how gross that looks. Bathing suit season terrifies me. Since I gave up laying in the sun, I am white, pasty and not toned! Blah!!!
I love the bathing suit you picked out, the bow on the side is simply adorable!!!
Hilarious! And you certainly have no need to avoid bikinis except for the fact that you raise your risk of getting hit on even more. I have the same problem ;) so I just avoid bathing suits altogether. When people ask me if I ever go to Mexico (and I actually do get asked that for some reason…must be my natural tan) I always answer honestly that I never go anywhere that requires me to wear a bathing suit because I don’t believe in scaring small children. Very cute bathing suit by the way.
PS. Seriously cute bathing suit. Where did you buy it?
It’s from la vie en rose…they have a lingerie/sleepwear side and a swimwear side in our mall :) It’s all online too!
AHHH this post made me laugh. Especially when you talk about Gemma mixing up nipples and armpits. But i think binkinis are fine. I wear a bikini top, usually with some sort of shorts or skirt on the bottom, b/c no matter how much i work out my thigh will always be touching. Now at the age of 27 i have excepted this. :)
Yup, I’ve reached the same acceptance point. I guess we just have to be thankful our weight localizes to our thighs and doesn’t go everywhere! I am a big fan of shorts and skirts over bathing suits!
My Mom’s still wearing a bikini in her 60’s:) I think you just have to pick one that fits your age, and you’s is very cute:)
I love that! Totally inspiring :)
Cutest bathing suit ever! I, too, think bikini’s are fine for mamas, as long as they’re not too skimpy. I got into one last year when our family went to Mexico, and I’m determined to wear it again after my third child! I’m hoping Jillian will get me there :)
Hey, I totally would if I could (wear a bikini, that is). I don’t think I’d take Addie shopping with me, though. That ‘risk of curtain opening’ thing would become a ‘given’, and I’m not so cool with everyone seeing everything… :) I loved this post, Anna. And I love, love, love the cartoon! Thanks!
If you can do it, do it! There are definitely people who should not be wearing them though. I’ve always put myself in that category- even before I had kids. Now….well, I consider it a service to all that I don’t show my gazillion stretch marks to the world.
I think bikini’s are just fine for Mommy’s. Yup, you need to make sure they will stay put in all the right places, but seriously, one pieces shouldn’t even exist they are so yucky! I’m sure you look fabulous in it!