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As of this week, I’m officially back to being a stay-at-home mom as I wait for baby #3 to make it’s appearance in only about 3 short weeks! I’m always on the fence about this feeling, although I have to say so far I feel so relaxed knowing I don’t have to set my alarm, and the kids have been absolutely amazing and totally set my mind at ease about introducing a third into the mix. But then, it’s only been 3 days :)
I have an incredibly long list of things I want to do now that my nesting instinct is kicking in (either that or panic is setting in as I realize we actually don’t have a baby room yet until we find time to restructure our ensuite, and time is getting a little tight).
Current ensuite situation, give or take a glass door and all the parts of a crib.
I’m always on the fence about going on maternity leave because as much as I love the idea of getting to things I’ve left for when “I have more time”, I still get a little thrown off by having more time.
I have more time.
A lot more time.
And for me this means a major drop in productivity, a complete shift away from efficiency, and a bad habit of glancing at the clock, which makes the days seem about 8 times longer than they are. So if my days are 8 times longer, why do I get 8 times less accomplished??
A mystery of the grandest proportions, yes?
I seriously don’t know how stay-at-home moms do it, and I would love advice. I admire stay-at-home moms more than just about anyone, and truly want to be a good one, to best serve God and my husband and children through my presence in the home. So, how do you fill the days? Do you stay home all day? Go out every day? Watch TV? Do yoga? If I can manage (albeit barely) to stay on top of everything in two days at home, how can I productively use those other 4 days? (I’m leaving Sunday out because that’s a day of church and rest and family and doesn’t tend to factor in to any of my planning).
Trouble is, I’m not much a of “Pinterest mom”. My own mom was a Pinterest mom long before Pinterest existed, never afraid to whip out multiple glue guns and tubes of sparkles at a birthday party with 10 little girls. She taught us all tole painting at a young age so we could join her in the “paint room”, and she still proudly displays some of the pieces we made.
I, on the other hand, am terrified of seeing a glue gun or a sparkle if there is anyone under the age of 20 around. I love alone time, and the freedom to spread out my own mess without having to think about anyone else’s. I’m trying to think of where I can closet Carl away for office space so his giant office that houses an extra table and chairs can become my giant craft room instead…do you think he’ll notice?
I believe stay-at-home moms are undeniably valuable in the lives of their families, and I want to be a great one who somehow manages not to compare herself to other moms, whose kids remember with fondness the love they felt, the things they learned, the good times they had, and an overall relaxed home atmosphere filled with unconditional acceptance. Lofty goals I’m not sure I’m cut out for, but I’m determined to try, and would love your thoughts on what makes it easier to remember that it’s a gift to be able to stay home, even on days when you want to give your children away and drive yourself to California.
In the meantime, while you come up with words of wisdom you’re willing to share, feast your eyes on these shoes :)
Source: google.com via Anna on Pinterest
I can buy shoes just for Valentine’s Day, right? And date nights? Because stay-at-home moms need date nights. With wine. Please advise my husband :)
While I’ll still be doing plenty of baking and cooking and cataloguing the best of the best recipes here, I imagine I’ll also be doing a lot more mom-type posts and sharing fun fashion and other finds…I hope you don’t mind, and if there’s ever a recipe you’d like to see let me know and I will get right on it…after all, I’m certainly not short on time ;)
Thanks for reading!
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I’m reading this as a sit on the couch in my pajamas (I refuse to spell that with a ‘y’) at 2:30pm. Yikes. I couldn’t agree more with Alicia’s comment. If I make sure I shower (or at least get dressed, put on some make-up, and brush my hair) BEFORE I head downstairs in the morning, there’s about a 98% chance that my day will be productive. If I think “I’ll just put on my house coat, bring the kids downstairs, have breakfast, and get ready after that”, I’m hooped.
I’m constantly reminded of the saying “if you need something done, ask the busiest person you know”, and then humbled/embarrassed by the fact that I am often not that person. There’s no doubt in my mind that you WILL be (and already are) that person. xoxo
I never know if I should classify myself as a stay at home mom, or a work at home mom. But, my days are filled with a lot of work, and I think that my days would be a lot different if work wasn’t a factor. But I think lists are my #1 thing that I need so that I don’t squander away my days. It’s too easy for the time to just vanish!
I LOVE lists – I just need to stop getting carried away and perpetually making lists I can’t finish :)
I’ve been a stay at home mom for 24 years. And no tv during the day. It’s a rule. I was never bored or without something to do. I’ve been through all the stages, the most recent was one leaving the nest. The best advice I can give you is you truly can never spend enough time with your kids. It makes all the difference when they get older.
Thanks for your input Kim…I definitely need to remind myself regularly that it is time well spent for the rest of their lives and this is, in reality, not that long of a stage!
I have a lot of respect for stay-at-home moms too. I feel crazy just being home for a day or two without leaving the house.
Love those shoes!
Ha. I am wondering the same thing. I have never been off before and wondering how I will fill my mat leave days and then worrying I am sure about eventually going back to work.
I am sure I will be bouncing ideas off of you this year!
Your Mom said it so beautifully Anna!!
My Mom also said to me often when I became a stay at home mom “Shower, get dressed, put make up and do one thing, you’ll be amazed at how you feel” Try it! It really does work!!
That is great advice – I find something as simple as taking off my glasses and putting in my contacts can make me feel better!
I always found the time at home with you kids when you were little very busy. It never really felt like there was an excess of time. But back then I sewed your dresses, made your quilts, knit and crosstitched sitting on the floor so you could play around me. In fact, so much time was spent reading you stories and interacting with you, I sometimes would even have to wait until you were all in bed to finish my sewing and painting. Then when you started school, the time went even faster with all the extra activities and deadlines school brings. Yes, I sometimes felt like I hadn’t accomplished much, and there were times when I foolishly wished you would grow up quicker, but I must say emphatically that I don’t regret having spent those years as a stay at home mom. Some may have thought I could have been more productive, brought in some extra income etc, but look at what wonderful daughters I have. I don’t take a lot of credit, but I do hope that fact that you think of me as a Pinterest mom before the days of pinterest means I have left some positive impression. To paraphrase Jackie Kennedy, if you mess up raising your kids, whatever else you accomplish doesn’t mean a thing. And now, being on the side where you are all grown up and almost all married, I can say it happened so, so fast. Enjoy it while you can. The time will come when you will have to give your daughter away and your son will find another woman to be the centre of his life. These are all good things and the way it should be, but remember, that time will be there before you know it, so make the most of the time you have them with you. Give them good memories and traditions to share with their kids. Be good parents so they will become good parents. Am I worried you won’t do a good job? Not at all! I know how full of love you are and I can already see your children learning that from you. Love to you all!
Yay for baby’s arrival so soon! And even though I’m not a mom yet, I do work at home, so I totally understand where you’re coming from. The days that i’m super busy with work, I somehow get waaaay more done than the days that are quiet – those are the days that I never seem to get anything accomplished. Busyness begets busyness, or something like that? =)
I think that’s exactly it – once I’m up and going I just keep going, it’s just taking that initial productive step :)
Every time I think about not leaving the house, I remember that one day we didn’t leave the house and how murdery we both felt by about 1:30. OBVIOUSLY with a brand new baby you can feel free to not leave the house. But as much as you can, leave the house. It kills SO MUCH TIME and gives all your eyes something else to look at.